The surname debate: do I take his last name?

When you're planning your wedding, you rarely think past the actual wedding day itself. But you should probably consider perhaps the biggest change of all after getting hitched  - taking your new husband's surname.

It may not be common knowledge, but it is not actually a legal requirement in the UK for you take your spouse's surname once you're married. It is entirely your choice whether to or not, and stats suggest that it's becoming more and more popular not to - especially among younger women.

Why do we take our husband's surname?

Well, it's an old English tradition that became customary in the 17th Century. Women previously had no surname at all, and so after getting married, they would take their husband's name to show that they were of their husband's possession. It's a tradition that's been preserved by the majority of women today as a way to symbolise their unity and to pass on the shared surname to their children.

Should I take his name?

There's a number of reasons why a woman would prefer to keep her own name after marriage, the one I most often see is that they believe changing their name could cause their career to suffer, if for example they've built up a reputation around their name.

Some women may see taking their husband's name as a sign of submission and think this suggests that women are inferior to men. The idea that women must change their identity, while the men's identity remains the same after marriage is just outright not fair, and even considered sexist.

I think there's a part of me that would very much like to keep my maiden name when I'm married. I've always quite liked it and I struggle to imagine being known as anyone else. At the same time, I'm marrying my fiancé because I love every part of him, and want to start a family, so in my opinion, taking his name is a way of showing this. I think when it comes to it I will still have my maiden name between my first and surname - exactly as my mother did, so I won't be losing it completely!

So, will you be taking your husband's name after marriage?

Magical Mystical Waterfall Wedding

When I came across Lisa and Paul's wedding, I knew I had to share it on my blog with you. The couple have now settled into married life, so lets have a peek at how their amazing wedding was put together…

Paul and Lisa met in May 2010 at their local pub in Newcastle-under-Lyme in Staffordshire, and soon became completely inseparable after their first date.

It was 2014, after being together for 4 years, they decided to take the next step and marry each other. They chose to keep the wedding secret for as long as possible so that they had the opportunity to plan their day as much as they could.

The Location

The wedding was held at Pystill Rhaeadr Waterfalls set in the foothills of the Berwyn Mountains. The waterfall itself is the highest in Wales and provides a most spectacular backdrop. It also provides a spiritual retreat where you can stay in magical, peaceful surroundings.

Paul and Lisa knew this would be the perfect setting for tying the knot after having previously visited Pystill together. Being such a tranquil and beautiful spot meant that the wedding would be kept intimate, as they didn't want to lose sight of the whole reason for being there and saying their vows to each other.

The wedding reception was held at Plas Uchaf Country House, not far from Pystill Rhaeadr, providing accommodation and food for the wedding guests. The house is set in beautiful grounds in the lower slops of Llwyn Bryn-Dinas and has beautiful views from every angle. The perfect backdrop for their day.

One of the things I love about this wedding is how much detail was put in to it. Lisa sourced and hand-made a lot of things for their big day (with the help of her friends and Pinterest of course!). Not only did this allow their budget to stay low, but also gave aspects of their wedding a much more personal touch.

Paul and Lisa chose bespoke and unique handmade wedding rings from Mark Artisan Uprising.

Lisa and Paul remained true to themselves and their love of alternative fashion (think rockabilly and Hot Rod) and chose their wedding outfits around this. Lisa's wedding dress was bought from eBay, hand made to measure with specific requirements by a tailor in the Far East. Her shoes were a steal from her local bridal shop sale at £30!

She styled her outfit with a small, alternative and bespoke bouquet by White Bryony Flower Creations made from ivory felt and fabrics, vintage buttons, brooches and diamante details.

Paul’s outfit was by Pike Brothers Superior Garments and won him "Pike of the Month" in Pike Brothers’ monthly competition for choosing to wear their vintage-styled clothing for his wedding day!

In keeping with the relaxed feel of the day, the guests were instructed to ‘wear jeans and be comfortable’!

More photos from Lisa & Paul's wedding:

Photography by Rocking Weddings

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#MarriedMay

Wow, it's May already, where has this year gone?! So, the other day I was scrolling through Instagram and I came across "#MarriedMay". For those who don't know, it's an idea that every day in May you post a different detail about your engagement or wedding. 

What you post each day is listed here: (Don't forget to use the hashtag #MarriedMay!)

What a fab idea to share! So look out for my #MarriedMay posts on Instagram this month, if you don't already follow me, you can at @bigdaydreamsblog

If you're anything like me though, there'll be a few details you want to keep to yourself until the big day though - that's fine, I'll probably skip the days I want to keep secret, or share something else.

So, will you be taking part as well? I can't wait to see all your wedding plans! x